Santa's Holiday Mood Swings Up

Annual North Pole Logistics Report

Spirits are high at the North Pole this year in strong contrast to the subdued mood in 2012. Memories of the disastrous delivery delays of 2009 have faded as have the images of Santa stuck in customs in China, Chile, Australia, France and Canada. So enjoy this recap; pour a night cap and read the changes Santa implemented to overhaul his Christmas Eve logistics, freight forwarding and customs strategies.

• Stan Skolodicz, formerly Logistics VP for SOS Global, was hired as North Pole Logistics Director, to improve on-time deliveries and implement use of the ATA Carnet from the North Pole.
• Mrs. Claus negotiated a multi-national agreement amongst the surrounding carnet countries of Norway, Russia, Norway, Denmark, Canada and the U.S.A. for each of them to issue the coveted North Pole Christmas Eve carnet.
• In further display of her diplomatic talents, Mrs. Claus negotiated with all non-carnet countries for acceptance of the carnet in the single instance of Christmas Eve as long as it is accompanied by the CEEF00, the Christmas Eve Exception Form 00. The CEEF00 is issued by the International Chamber of Commerce that also oversees the ATA Carnet system worldwide.
• Lead Elf, Jerry Blufari, has earned his Licensed Customs Broker credential to provide added credibility to Santa's shipments should customs raise any objections. He is the first resident of the North Pole to achieve this coveted status. Since the North Pole is under no country's jurisdiction,  Jerry is licensed by Canada. The closest permanently inhabited place to the North Pole is Alert, Nunavat, Canada.
• The U.S. Bobsled and Skeleton Team engineers and U.S. Boomerang Team boomerang designers were contracted to re-engineer Santa's antique sleigh for better speed and energy efficiency. As a result, the reindeer can travel further between stops and faster to ensure timely deliveries.
• Gift distribution sub-stations have been established at all boomerang carnets®' offices including Chicago, New York, Dallas, Los Angeles and San Francisco. Gifts will be pre-shipped by Western Overseas, Airways Freight, SOS Global, DHL, FedEx Trade Networks, Confirmed Freight and Expeditors International to the sub-stations where they will be held until Santa picks them up on Christmas Eve. The new freight forwarding and distribution strategy will minimize the number of trips Santa has to make back to the North Pole on December 24th.

Plans for next year include logistics, safety and speed improvements:

• Expansion of the network of delivery sub-stations to the carnet national guaranteeing associations worldwide. This would give Santa over 65 locations to pre-ship to.
• Advanced sleigh piloting training for Santa by the 2-man Bobsled 2013 World Cup winners, Steven Holcomb and Steve Langton.
• Redesign of Santa's red and white suit using advanced materials allowing him to slide effortlessly down all types of chimneys. Mrs. Claus is in negotiations with Michael Phelps for him to act as a consultant in this regard.
• Santa is considering an appearance on the Greatest Loser. With a new, svelte figure he would reduce drag and weight on the sleigh as well as make chimney access faster and easier. Concerns for Santa's trademark plump appearance may trump this proposed change.